I have been working on a lot of art

... But you won't get to see any of it :D

I've been having a bit of trouble with the Drop of Sunlight painting I was working on. For some reason, I just can't seem to get the facial features right. I've started and restarted the skin five times now. It's beginning to feel a lot like my book series... So I think I'm going to take a siesta from that one and do something else. If you don't feel it, you just don't feel it.

I've also been working on a notebook cover for my new school class, but have taken a break from THAT one to do a computer wallpaper for my brother for his birthday. But since he's usually lurking in my room, I can only work at it late at night. Which is why I'm writing this at 2:30 AM.

Then I have to write the lessons for my students and that requires a lot of time because I'm nitpicky. But they're all available on my DA page and also on the group I created for my students. They post their work there, so drop by from time to time to check them out.

OH! My portrait of Tarja Turunen was part of a Member Feature on DeviantArt. I was really surprised, since that's a fairly old painting and I can see a lot of mistakes on it now...

... That's really it. You can't see any of my new stuff yet. I'll post the wallpaper after my bro's b-day since I know of at least several people who will appreciate it, but of course I can't until then or he might see it.

In the meantime, here's a speedpaint of a butterfly. I'm getting better at speedpainting and I really enjoy it.

Some rocks

I painted them.

After about a month and a half of doing no art at all, I painted rocks. Fascinating.

In my defense, I am rather busy with music related tripe. In the next few months, I'm going to go bother the Lubbock Theater until they eventually hire me. I'm just happy I can sing again. If I can sing as a career, all the crap from the last few years will be totally worth it.

Anyway, here's the rocks. And my random floating lightsource.

No, they don't have texture yet. No, the ones on the right and left are not curved the way they should be. But I'm not finished! Clearly.

The post with no art

I have nothing for you today. Sorry.

I'm afraid I hit that wall that I do with all of my artwork. I begin to panic because no matter what I do, the background always fails me. It turns me into a simpering child.

In the past week or so since I last updated, I've gone a bit out of my mind. At best, I pop around the house with an insane smile somewhat like this,

not really accomplishing anything, but at least staying on the far corner of my right mind.

But at worst, I more commonly resemble Ryuk, electrified hairdo and all.

In order to save what remains of my sanity, I decided to, once again, take a break from Chaos and do another contest prize on deviantART, this time for the IchiRuki club for their Valentine's Day contest. Since I hate VDay and would never participate in any contests, I figured I might as well contribute this way. Also, I wanted to try out a new painting technique and am using this as an excuse to practice it.

Naturally, since it's a prize, I can't post updates. But whatever XD

Adieu!

I need some help on this one

Determined to take a break from the scythe, I started fussing around with the background. I'm never happy with backgrounds. I always start thinking along the lines of "Now why would someone be standing there posing? It makes no sense" and never get anything done.I guess I should start doing paintings of characters interacting with the surroundings to avoid this problem, but I sometimes change my mind about what I want the background to be, or sometimes it just doesn't work. That's me being a n00b.

My relaxing break from the Scythe of Doom wound up being a failure. I went from just losing my soul to intimidation to something along these lines:

Of course, that's only in theory, because in reality, I never get off my butt.

Uh... Anyway, I need help picking a background. So which is your favorite?

This is the initial one, chiseled out a little bit more.

I hate this one the most. That column would have to be scrapped and redone from scratch.

Rock over the sea kind of thing. I actually like this one the best, but it would require massive amounts of hair re-painting, and I'm afraid I just didn't do the initial painting with outdoor light in mind v.v I wish I had. The scythe looks like the moon against that sky.

So give me your opinion! I can't promise it will affect mine, but I'd like to know what you think. Oh dear... now you won't answer, will you D:

Another self-gratifying scythe detail pic:

A sketch and the secret of my bad blogging

I was writing a detailed profile of one of my characters as an exercise after a few days of prodding by Soren when I thought, "I'm an artist! I can procrastinate writing this by painting a picture of the character and it will still count to Soren!" So I spent more hours than necessary looking for a pose reference, then another 20 min or so sketching it out.

Ta-da!

Soreana (pronounced sur-AH-na - get it right!), the Chaos Priestess of my mythology. I'm going to completely re-vamp the dress design because I hate it, but I'm too tired right now. Decided to draw her in my own style instead of fussing over realism. The scythe is my favorite part of her design XD

No, I have not finished my previous WIPs. Leaving so much unfinished may seem a bit weird, but I've only just begun to show you all of my WIPs. My "unfinished" folder is 3x as large as my finished. I usually work on something else and then go back to the previous ones. This should be a fast one, so we'll see.

ONWARD!

I deleted my other blog. Yeah. Kind of sad, right? I just thought it was pointless since I never updated it. I finally figured out why I'm such a bad personal blogger: I simply don't like writing personal things. I cut my facebook friends from 200-something down to like 26 because I didn't like the feeling that I was being watched. So enjoy the mystery of me, because this is all you get XD

I'm the worst blogger ever.

More like the worst artist ever XD

That portrait commission still has me bummed. I hate failing. So I haven't been working on anything remotely art related in a long time. I spent all the time I normally spend on painting on over 240 hours of Oblivion. <-- That is epic nolifesville, that is. I have also become re-addicted to Bleach now that the promise of FINALLY getting to the last battle is on the horizon. Although I will hate to see it end, knowing Kubo-sensei, it will be another two years before the battle is finished XD Normally, I would hate to admit all that, but it was my nerdy happiness that made me brush the dust off my tablet and draw a comic strip.

Painting is a no-go. I feel like I've hit a wall. I'm not really seeing anymore improvement and that's slowing me down. Where before, every piece was leaps and bounds greater than the last, I just don't see that anymore. Not to mention, I've been trying to improve my speed a little. Bah...

Planning to go aaaaall the way back to my hometown this fall to go to the Renaissance Festival with my dear friend that I knew since I was five (or four, don't remember lol), but lost contact with in high school. I love the Ren Fest XD

And that's it! Aren't you glad I took the time to write about nothing???

Tribute

Yesterday, I learned that my friend and former boss Robert McCurry was killed in a car accident on Thursday while leaving his apartment to attend college classes. His memorial service was today, but I was unable to make it thanks to the eight hour drive between me and the Houston area.

I couldn't even think about going through the day without acknowledging him in some way, so I decided just to write some things that I remembered.

-Robert gave me my first job and was a unique boss. He valued my opinion in Gamestop goings-on and seemed to appreciate my blunt honesty. He never made me do work that was uncomfortable for me, like excessive dealing with customers, and instead let me do the work I was good at and enjoyed. He would never curse in front of me or the other female employees because he considered it rude. He treated us with respect that most people don't even consider.

-I picked up some strange food habits from him that I still can't break. To this day, I can't eat an untoasted sandwich and I love Little Caesar's pepperoni and jalapeno pizza with buffalo sauce mixed with the marinara.

-I remember once while I was training a new employee, someone sneaked around behind the register and snagged some merchandise while my back was turned. Robert chased him down and asked him if he'd stolen anything from us (his pants were obviously full of something) to which the guy replied that it was "just" his weed. It wasn't "just" weed, he was arrested for theft AND possession, and I still laugh while picturing the look on Robert's face when the guy told him it was marijuana.

-He introduced me to the only two American bands that I still enjoy -- Breaking Benjamin and Evans Blue/Parabelle.

-He texted me randomly about six months after I'd quit just to say "OMG I can't stop hiccuping. Seriously, I've had the hiccups for two days." At first, I was really confused, but it was so funny.

-When someone was hitting on me at work and making me angry, he told them I was jail bait (even though I was 18) to get them to leave me alone.

-He's responsible for my manga addiction. He'd let me take home leftover Shonen Jump magazines every month when the new ones came in, which made me fall in love with Bleach.

I guess I could go on and on, but I feel satisfied now. Today, I'm going to go order a Robert pizza from Caesar's and listen to some K-Mat Evans Blue. Please say a prayer for the comfort of his family.

Driving Rant

I rarely use this blog for personal stuff anymore, but I have to rant or I might kick a puppy.

My general dislike of people in general is never helped by driving. I can't comprehend how some people are still on the road. Still alive, even. It makes no conceivable sense.

Therefore, I have compiled a list of the top 5 groups of people who should not drive.

5) Chit-chatters
- Talking, either on the phone or to someone in the car, is distracting, but most people seem to do ok with it. However, you do not have to stay focused on someone to talk. Stop looking at them and watch the road, for crying out load.

4) The elderly
- I'm not saying all elderly people can't drive, only that most of them can't. In the last few days alone, I almost got into a several car pileup because an old lady was going 25 MPH in a 45 MPH minimum zone. She was completely unaware that everyone was swerving around her and almost crashing. This happens to me at least once on a weekly basis, sometimes more. There was an old man straddling lanes just 30 minutes ago that almost caused a wreck. And he didn't even know.

3) Texters
- Teenagers are idiots in general (no offense) but this is mostly enhanced by their OCT, or obsessive compulsive texting. You are a new driver and are statistically more likely to have a wreck anyway. Your friends are, like, going to be a lot more depressed if you, like, die than if you don't immediately respond to their "lol" message, ya know? Probably.

2) Drunks
- Insert obvious comment here

And the #1 group of people who shouldn't drive: Narcoleptics
- Anyone prone to randomly fall asleep at any given moment shouldn't walk, let alone drive. Sorry, Narcoleptics. I know you can't help it, but we don't want to die. Stay off the road, yes?

I'm not dead.

I'm just crazy, insanely, overwhelmingly swamped. I haven't even touched my tablet in over a week.  That kind of sucks because I have multiple projects due AND lessons to scratch up for my students.

I have begun to prioritize:

1) Portrait commission #1
2) Art lesson reference pages. You can find the completed ones here, as you probably noticed. When I'm finished with actually "teaching" with the stuff, I'm going to combine the pages into one book and post it for download on DA.
3) FE collab pieces that are due in September.
4) My manga.
5) Another quick comic or two.
6) SilentReaper's StupidFox contest. I want a StupidFox plushie :O
7) Portrait commission #2
8) The artwork that I actually WANT to work on :|

So as you can see, I am quite busy. And all that is NOT including work, my classes, and piano lessons. Fortunately, piano is taking a two week break so I can catch up a little.

As much as I like taking breaks over the weekend, though, I hate having the 5000+ messages I get when I log back on.

Before I took a break, I did do a bit of quick concept art for the manga... I guess I'll post it so I don't look entirely hopeless.

I'm still here! Change in Showcase, as well

I haven't made a post in awhile, but I haven't finished any projects lately. I took the weekend early this week and started on Friday to give myself a three day weekend. As you may recall, I take my weekends off quite seriously. I don't do anything brain related, and that includes art.

I mostly play the Sims. Yes, I love the Sims. It gives me insight into how God must feel when we do things that make no sense and ruin our own lives in ten seconds or less. Well... that and they just make me laugh.

Although, when my first chapter of my manga is finished, you can thank the Sims for knocking me out of my writer's block. While playing through as the characters of the story, the Sims' utter lack of common sense gave me some hysterical ideas. PS, I will include the manga in both traditional Japanese AND English reading formats for my less manga-experienced peeps.

So I guess technically you can call it research?

Christine is worried that her dress makes her butt look big.

Melody can't figure out why there's no ceiling in an underground room (walls down lol)

Ok, I'll stop nerding myself out.

Well, except for this: While Onemanga closed its scans for good, other manga hosting sites are still going strong. So if you want to keep reading your manga, check out mangastream.com and bleachexile.com -- we've still got them, at least for now.

Ok, now I'm done nerding.

I don't know when I'll get to work on my own stuff, though. I have several portrait commissions that I need to start on, which is cool. Also, my art classes start tomorrow. I need to get some material drafted up for the first class. I have to cover a lot in just one hour because I really want to get the technical stuff out of the way as quickly as possible so they can start playing with their own creativity. Art is 15% technique and 85% practice.

Which reminds me -- I'll be picking up my Showcase posts again next Saturday, but instead of using pro artists, I'm going to be posting my students' work. I will still post pro's work if I run across something that inspires me, but I really want to give my kids the affirmation of getting their work published. It'll be on my deviantART, as well, so you can't really miss it.

I'm also not going to the convention this year. Too much overhead needed and not enough time to get it all together AND get enough art done to make it worth it. So I'll try again next year! Plus, it would be cool to be able to sell my first self-published manga volume there as well. If I could do one chapter a month, that would be awesome.

I had the mother of all headaches on Saturday. I don't know why I'm telling you that :|

Maybe cause I'm out of stuff to say.

That's all, folks!

Nobody loves me

After talking to my printer and having a minor heart attack over the cost of going to the convention, I decided I needed to do something to bolster my available capital. So I offered art classes, starting next week, to the large homeschool group in the area.

Nobody has signed up so far. Which especially sucks because I am the ONLY person who offers art classes other than one lady who charges $120 per lesson. Maybe I should charge that much to seem more legit? XD

Course, I still have a week left before I wanted classes to start, so maybe if I put out another email, I'll get some students. If not, though, I'm not going to be able to afford the convention this year.

PS I don't care what Metal Magazine says, Tarja is metal queen, NOT Sharon den Adel. Sharon only won because Within Temptation spent the past week badgering their Facebook fans to vote for Sharon. Epica did the same for Simone Simmons, but she got third.

Tarja was 200 votes off winning and she never asked for votes. So there! *ignore*

Neither did Nightwish and poor Anette got stomped 0.o Of course, they're probably too busy fishing to remember the contest XD

Why is the type so big? I have no idea.

Demon Spider encounter #3

I thought that once we moved, I would be free of the wrath of Demon Spider and his minions. Apparently, I was mistaken.

So far they haven't managed to find my new house, but these arachnid ninjas are infiltrating other places I haunt.

Appropriate, considering the most recent location was my Tae Kwon Do do jang.

I have private lessons occasionally with the grandmaster to work on my kick technique because my rotating sidekicks are abysmally uncontrolled (I have no balance at all). Anyway, we had finished kicks and I was working on my basic forms while he took a call. The form I was working on calls for a step back at one point. Not even a second after I took that step back, a large black mass suddenly fell from the ceiling, just where I had been standing moments before. Now, the ceiling is black, so I just thought it was a piece of insulation or something. So I glanced down.

As you have doubtless figured out by now, it was not a piece of insulation. It was the effin' biggest non-tarantula spider I had ever seen in my life. One of those black shiny ones with the pointy butt and loooong weirdass front legs. Legspan and all, it was about the size of my fist.

To my credit, I didn't scream (I didn't want to freak out the grandmaster). I just ran like a maniac to the other side of the room and waited for him to come back, trying to build up my guts to kill it before he came back and saw me running from a spider when I was supposed to be training to fight.

Oh, the irony.

Sadly, I wasn't able to do it. Every time I would take a step toward it to squash it, it would start to move. It's their movement that freaks me out so bad - not necessarily the size (although that makes their movement more defined). It's the way their legs move, all one at a time with little creeping motions. So when he'd move, I'd panic and run away.

Eventually, Master Kim did get off the phone and came back. I pointed the failed ninja assassin out to him and he appropriately remarked "Oh, that is big." like it was nothing, then proceeded to beat it to death with a kick pad. Although it took several good shots.

Unfortunately, he left the carcass there for an instructor to get and I couldn't concentrate anymore with it there. He hates spiders *almost* as much as I do, apparently. So I left and went home to make myself a cup of hot chocolate (yes, in July) and work a little.

Now I'm terrified of my own do jang. I just pray they hire an exterminator before Friday.

Also, I learned that even the grandmaster can hate spiders. And that learning tae kwon do will not cure me of my arachnophobia.

Bit of an update...

I am insanely proud of myself. Why? Because I finally got accepted into one of the upper echelon groups on deviantART!!! The founder is an artist I really respect and getting art entered into the group meant a lot.

A lot of my confidence hung on it, actually. I had decided that if my art wasn't good enough to get into that group, I wouldn't be going to Oni-con. So getting in has given me the confidence to stay up until 12AM on July 15 and get my contract in ASAP! I'm quite excited. I have a printing service set up, a decent amount of investible cash, and new confidence. Now all I need is enough art to sell. I have all of July, August, and September to build up a decent selection of art from various anime. I think for sale maximization, I'll stick with the more popular anime like Naruto, Bleach, Death Note, and Vampire Knight I'd say gag me to VK, but I'm really looking forward to painting Zero XD. I will also have a few pieces from The Wallflower just because I love it so much and am going as Sunako anyway. Not to mention, Hayakawa-sensei is supposed to be releasing a new volume in the fall, so maybe the waning Wallflower interest will have picked back up again.

Here is the painting that got me into the group and is serving as piece #1 of my convention stock!

Note: Like all of my paintings involving bright light, blogger doesn't have the capabilities to show it, so it looks rather dull.

I used many photos as reference (the background alone was crafted out of four different images) and am quite happy with the result! I'm usually less than adequate at backgrounds, but I really worked hard on this one and it paid off. I don't know that I'll do all of my pieces with detailed backgrounds, but I definitely wanted to try at least once!

Remember - 15% off commissions to help me go to Onicon!

Lesson learned...

I will never ever again offer free realism commissions >.< I have been working on one for about a week now and I'm still not finished. Don't get me wrong, I love working on it - it's a lot of fun. It just takes forever XD

I think it will look really awesome when I'm finished, though. If I finish lol. 

Doing the free ones is really gearing me up to do paid ones. I get a bit of experience working WITH people and I'm improving a lot because I want them to be completely satisfied. 

In the meantime, I have taken a few breaks to keep from getting bored, and in those times, I've drawn a few things... With graphite, I mean.

These are speedsketches, which means I draw them in ten minutes or less. It's a drawing exercise I assigned myself to improve speed, but also to teach myself good drawing habits. Whenever I speedsketch, I don't pre-draw the image -- I just start shading and making darker and lighter value shapes. While I'm still not the best at it, I'm getting better and it's relatively amusing.

I can also do 30 min chibi portraits XD

 

The background is epic sucketh, but only because I was lazy... 

Um. Well. That's it, really. Considering I have been working on that one painting, I haven't done much else. Besides, I only have time to paint between work and either TKD or piano, and I still like to have time to study Japanese. My life is full and happy. So why does Facebook keep telling me I need a boyfriend???

Crazy busy

I have been a very lazy blogger lately... Ok, not lazy so much as too busy not to update it. As you can probably discern from the title.

Back in my junior high/high school days, I wanted to do EVERYTHING. Softball, basketball, dancing, music, fencing, martial arts... You name it, I wanted to try it. Unfortunately, a 10-18 year old only has so much time to do after school activities and the only ones I was able to try were softball- which I'd played since I was 4 and really couldn't give up- and dance- which later messed up my knees. After I quit both of those things, I got involved with the church band and started teaching myself guitar.

But I digress.

The point is, for the past two years I haven't wanted to do much of anything. First, college kept me busy with classes, what little homework I actually did, and activities. I didn't have time to enter anything new or learn anything interesting. When I left college and had to move up here to West Texas, I was pretty depressed for the next year and didn't feel like doing anything.

Then, about three months ago, for no conceivable reason, I started wanting to do stuff again. It started with Japanese studying, then progressed to art, which has now led to Tae Kwon Do classes and piano lessons. These are all things I always wanted to learn, but never had the time because of school. Only working part-time has left me with a lot of opportunity to learn new things that I couldn't have learned in college (except Japanese, and the art classes weren't what I wanted).

So, for the first time in several years, I can honestly say I'm insanely busy and loving every minute of it. I just hope my brain can keep up with all the new information.

Short moving account, art, and my book review

Blogger has been down, so I hadn't been able to publish. It would always give me an annoying error message... However! It's working now and I have quite a bit to write.

We finally got the move over with last weekend and I am not sorry to see it past. I don't like the location of the current house, but the house itself is quirky and fun, as Mom says. It has some particularly random traits that don't make sense. Like a storm door leading into the garage and NO storm door leading to the backyard. It has a large pool, but the whole thing is only 3 ft deep. The master bath tub is sunken into the ground. It's all fairly amusing.

The move itself was the worst so far. Kitty #2 escaped while we were trying to pack him up, so I chased him out of the yard, through a cactus patch (in flip flops) and to the canyon wall, where he disappeared.

It was my fault because I was the one who let him go.

Fortunately, I went to the house the next evening and he was sitting outside looking very confused, so I caught him.

It was hard on my poor mom, too, because several of her favorite things got broken, even though the box was clearly marked "fragile."

Also, this morning, I got my review of The Five Trials this morning from Karissa!

She pointed out a few small mistakes that I hadn't noticed (never would have noticed without someone telling me haha) but gave me a great review. I'm so glad. I was pretty nervous, but now I think I will, finally, attempt to turn over the book to mom for the tearing of its life so I can send it to publishers. I need her help to write the outline and letter and everything... One of the perks of having a writer for a mom :D

For art-related news, since the last time I posted, I've finished several things...

First is piece # 1 for the Fire Emblem collab, which has been on the sidebar for about a week. But I'm posting it here now!

It is, in fact, watermarked. I just made it a ninja watermark that you have to really look for XD I haven't even started piece #2. I'm at a bit of a loss for ideas at the moment.

The next bit started off as just a practice drawing and then became fairly detailed.

And finally, I just decided to post this about five minutes ago. It's a preview of a large chibi piece I'm working on of the entire cast from my books. It was supposed to be quick and easy, but apparently I can't do anything that way anymore. I've been working on it for five days now.

Chibis are fun :D

The armor and hair shine doesn't really show up on blogger, but you'll be able to see it when I post it on deviantART.

Well, I guess that's it for now!

Happy June!

Yes, I know it's June 2nd already, but I never got around to posting yesterday.

Over Memorial Day, my family and I went to Carlsbad Caverns in New Mexico. Do you know how hard it is to walk downhill for almost two hours when you have weak knees? I do. I have no balance going down slopes because of my knees. Going up is fine, but I wobble and shake like crazy going down. They had signs all over the entrance warning people with weak knees and ankles to reconsider taking that cave tour, but I thought I could suck it up. And I did, mostly, but it was incredibly painful.

Fortunately, the caverns are worth seeing. I've been in my fair share of caves, but I'd never seen anything like Carlsbad. It's impossible to describe, so I'll just post a quick picture:

I didn't take that. And there's no dramatic light. But you get the idea.

I was so excited, looking forward to posting all the pictures I'd take here and on Facebook, but I ran into a snafu -- my brother ran down the battery on my camera and didn't tell me in time to charge it for the trip. So I have no cave pictures :| I do, however, have some good flora photography that I took at the zoo we went to the next day.

... And that's all I'm showing you.

Most of the pictures I took were astonishingly boring, which is sad because the subjects were fantastic. Apparently, though, Soren and Rollin took Memorial Day off, so I was on my own. So sad...

About the cave, though, to be honest, it wasn't my favorite. It was so huge and the trails were laid out. I didn't really get the feeling that I was exploring something. It felt more like a tour. My favorite cave of all time is the Wonder Cave (failname) in San Marcos, TX. It's so narrow and jagged that you really feel like you're exploring it. In fact, they have a height and size limit for even entering it. I loved it so much. I want to go back.

In artistic news, I haven't really got much for now... I've been working on a painting that addresses some of the critiques I received, but I haven't finished it. I may put it on hold a bit to work on a worldwide Fire Emblem 20th Anniversary Collaboration I opted into. Everyone could adopt a character (or two, if they're from different games) and represent them in the collaboration, which will be finished around New Years. I will be painting Leila from FE7 and Marisa from FE8:

I wanted to do Soren, but he was already claimed D: He's my absolute favorite and my muse is named after him... But oh well. Leila doesn't get enough love and Marisa is quite popular. In fact, I only beat Psychorror to her by 30 seconds or so, and he was kind enough to let me have her :D I'm very excited about being part of this collaboration, especially since it's for my favorite game. It will be my first!

Well, I suppose that is enough of me for today.

I'm curious -- what did YOU do for Memorial Day?

I need to sleep but I don't really feel like it, so here's a bit of a non-angry rant

I haven't had a lot of time to spend on art lately because the computer at work died, leaving me with the delightful chore of redoing several full weeks' worth of accounting. Pretty much the only art-related thing I've been up to at all is studying. Well, and a few simple things based on that studying.

I collected all of my art resources which you can check out using the link up there ^ but what I've been working at right now has taken me back to my graphite roots. It's Jason at EclecticAsylumArt's beyond belief art lessons. He starts at the VERY beginning, explaining about how our eyes and brain interpret what we see differently. Knowing these differences is a fundamental for good art. What is it? Well, I'll tell you.

The eyes see contrasts in value while the brain interprets those contrasts as lines.

We then define those lines as features. Such as lips, or eyes, or a nose. We think we have to draw a face with lines, using set rules to get all of the features in the right place. I should mention before I go further that I'm studying advanced portrait drawing so I can make some money locally. How we SHOULD be drawing them is not based on pre-set lines, but on the subtle changes in value. Artistically, value means shading. An absolute value of 10 would be black, with an absolute value of 1 would be white. A five would be in between and so forth. Of course, value is relative, but explaining that and everything else would take too long and I doubt most of you are interested anyway. Drop me an email or comment if you'd like to learn more about it. Or just watch Jason's videos...

But I digress.

The point of all this was that in my lessons, I'm learning to reject what my brain tries to see and accept only what my eyes see. Meaning, I'm learning to draw with value instead of with lines. I'm learning to see things like the eyes not as lines, but as lighter and darker values differing from the skin. 

I hope all this makes sense because it's hard to explain...

Being able to draw with value instead of lines makes for much quicker, smoother sketches. Instead of having to draw something out and then shade it, I just shade and the shapes form out of the contrast. It cuts my drawing time in half. I drew a random portrait today, fully detailed and fairly realistic in probably 20 minutes, tops. I'm not saying it's perfect, but I already see the difference. For me to do anything without a reference pic is shocking to me. I wish I could post the sketch, but it was traditional instead of digital, so I'd have to scan it. And, as I said before, the work computer is dead and that's what I scanned it to... You will just have to take my word for it!

In addition to the random portrait, I also did a realistic-ish eye in 5 minutes. Both of these exercises were to try for speed, and, I have to say, it was highly effective.

I am also learning triangulation for picture duplication.

In addition, I've been sort of doodling with the critiques I was given. Number one on my agenda was clothing!!! I suck horribly at it. So I did a lineart in order to practice folds.

Ironic, considering my lessons have been about NOT using lines XD

I guess I'm versatile?

Uh... nose is a bit off, but I was focusing more on clothing this time. When/if I paint it, I will adjust it. 

Much improvement, I think, so this pleases me. Mostly this is thanks to Crysa of deviantART for making such an awesome tutorial.

In utterly NOT-art related news, we had a massive hailstorm today out here on the Texas plains. Scared the snot out of all three of my cats. I actually had to go sit outside on the deck with the oldest of the three because I was afraid she would have a heart attack. She hid behind me shivering the whole time as I human-shielded her body from bouncing hailstones. 

Of course, I like hailstorms as long as my car and cats are safe. I like the cold, I like the clouds, and I love going around and picking up hailstones afterwards. I love to look at them and figure out how many rotations they made in the clouds by examining their layers. Most of the stones we had today were 2-rotations -- about nickel sized -- but the biggest I found was 3-rotations -- about ping-pong ball sized. They have the neatest little cores, so much fun to study. 

I also played in the freezing water it left behind. It was quite pleasant.

Well, I'm exhausted and ranted out... Email/comment for any further information on the techniques I mentioned, if you're interested. I may try to get Jason to do a guest post if enough people are interested which I doubt. 

I need another new siggy image, too... This one bores me.

Brutal critiques are worth the emotional scarring

I was so happy with my latest painting. I thought it really showcased how good I was starting to get.

Then it got rejected from several of the more exclusive deviantART groups. I was so depressed... I thought it was the best I could do. Why didn't everyone else think so, too?

I was so depressed that my ears started to ring for lack of blood to my brain. So I shut my blackout curtains, lit my oil burner and candles, and turned on my misting fountain. Now, locking myself in a dark room with candles may seem depressing to most people, but this is how I recharge. The dark is like a blanket to me; I can't explain it. After an hour or so of chilling, I managed to get my resolve back. If that painting wasn't good enough, I'll just make a better one.

Of course, I had no idea WHAT was wrong with it. It's the artists' paradox. I can best compare it to writing -- as a writer AND a semi-professional editor, I naturally try to edit my own writing. But something about trying to correct your own work is impossible. You know what it's supposed to say and what you're supposed to feel, so you can't really pick up on mistakes that other people will notice. That's why, no matter how good or famous you are, you have to have an editor. I think it's the same way with art. So, I looked for a critic or two.

I wound up with like eight.

I appreciate all of their time, though! Two of them are friends from deviantART and the rest are random people from craigslist who read a desperate post I made shortly after blowing out the candles and turning the lights back on. I am going to post the most helpful of the suggestions they made, hoping they won't mind.

---------
I need to work on:

Hair -- A bit stringy and the scalp needs work
Eyes -- Stylized eyes not blending smoothly with realistic style
CLOTHING -- I have GOT to find a good fabric tutorial. I have such a mental block that it's holding me up big time.

I was suggested to:

-Study anatomy and draw stick figure skeletons to get a better idea of the body's framework
-Sharpen up my images a little
---------

Two things were pleasant surprises, though. My skin painting got consistent compliments and no one mentioned the background. I was certain everyone would tell me I failed utterly at the background.

If anyone has anything to add or flesh out in the list, I welcome your critique! That's why I use this blog in the first place... it's not to brag about my art, it's to get help. My goal is to have enough quality art to entire our local festival next year, and for that to happen, I need all the help I can get!

I suppose it's stupid for me to care THAT much about getting into the "quality" groups, but I can't help it. Normally, I am probably the LEAST self-conscious person you will ever meet. I wear some pretty ridiculous stuff, say what's on my mind, and don't really care what people think -- and that's not just talk since anyone who knows me would back it up. However, when it comes to art, I turn into this desperate, unsure, pathetic person who just wants everyone to love me. It's like total bipolarity. I don't understand it. But I do know that the desperation to be loved is driving me to improve my work in leaps and bounds.

When I get a hard critique, every word is like a slap in the face. Yet, it's like a good slap in the face that wakes you up from a nightmare. I can't really explain that, either...

So just keep in mind that your harsh words help wake me up! As long as they're constructive, of course. Otherwise I'd just think you're an idiot and move on with my life.

Cheers!

OH, I almost forgot... What does everyone think of my new header? I'd been sort of working on it on and off for awhile. I like it -- as much as I can without wondering what's wrong with it hahaha.

Crazier than usual

Adesso is supposed to be rushing my new pen to me, but I haven't gotten so much as a nib. I'm so creatively backed up that my dreams are entering the Plain of Thought that even I don't like to explore. I guess Rollin has wandered over there with all his spare time. I do wish he wouldn't share his discoveries with me though... The Sixth Plain of my Mind is a little weird even for me.

Without my art to keep me busy, I was lost yesterday. I watched TV most of the afternoon -- something I normally abhor. I guess I could write or sketch or something, but Soren is focusing obstinately on my current, unfinished painting. He's obsessed with getting it done and naturally, as a result, so am I. I even tried framing out the background with my trackpad. It didn't go very well... I had horrible flashbacks to my old paintings.

Thank God something finally came along to keep me entertained. The suspense/thriller game Alan Wake was released two days ago and I've been playing that when my brother isn't home (he's playing it, too, and we don't want to spoil it for one another). It's not really scary, per say, but it's interesting enough to keep me occupied in my normal painting-scheduled time. It's like playing through one of the books I love to read. 

I caught a glimpse of myself in the reflection of the TV once, and I had a smile on that looked exactly like the one Sunako sports in this picture ----- >

Like I said, Sixth Plain has been prominent...

Anyway, I've at least been occupied. I just hopehopehopehopehopehopehopehope my pen gets here soon. I don't know how long that game is and I don't know how much longer I can survive Rollin's inspirations without going certifiably insane.

Don't field that.