The post with no art

I have nothing for you today. Sorry.

I'm afraid I hit that wall that I do with all of my artwork. I begin to panic because no matter what I do, the background always fails me. It turns me into a simpering child.

In the past week or so since I last updated, I've gone a bit out of my mind. At best, I pop around the house with an insane smile somewhat like this,

not really accomplishing anything, but at least staying on the far corner of my right mind.

But at worst, I more commonly resemble Ryuk, electrified hairdo and all.

In order to save what remains of my sanity, I decided to, once again, take a break from Chaos and do another contest prize on deviantART, this time for the IchiRuki club for their Valentine's Day contest. Since I hate VDay and would never participate in any contests, I figured I might as well contribute this way. Also, I wanted to try out a new painting technique and am using this as an excuse to practice it.

Naturally, since it's a prize, I can't post updates. But whatever XD

Adieu!

Chaos WIP - The beginning of refinement and the conquering of Gilbert

That's kind of an epic title for a pointless update. Well, it's not pointless to ME - I need these to chronicle my improvement XD

Speaking of improvement, I'm afraid I hit a snag. I spent most of the day repainting the dress because of weird off-color marks that would suddenly become massively visible blights if I tried to add any advanced shading or highlights. Not just little spots either - the entire left sleeve was ripe with them. It looked like it had the plague.

This was caused by poor color blending. I had stretched and blotted the color pigments in such a way that it created a whole new blueish-greyish-reddish color somehow that would NOT disappear no matter how many times I colored it with another color. I'll call this color Gilbert because I hate that name so much (sorry, Gilberts). Anyway, anytime I would try to add shadows or color variations, Gilbert would be like LOOK AT ME NOW! So I had to redo it.

The problem was that when I started this before Christmas, my blending style consisted of circles, blots, and strokes. Messy messy. However, when I started working on the prize for my Christmas raffle winner, I noticed how horrendous Kisuke's jacket looked with this technique. No matter how many times I tried to refine it and make it look smooth, Gilbert would not go away.

See what I mean?

So I refined my stroking style to this, using lighter strokes going all one direction instead of just blots:

Smooth!

I hope all of that made even a bit of sense XD It's all rather important. Well, if you care about it anyway. If you don't, I just wasted five minutes of your life.

But don't worry, I'll make it up to you. Here's the actual update:

NO GILBERTS! :D

Did some skin refinement, too, so here's a detail shot:

Hair is looking kind of kooky now, but that's what I'm working on tomorrow.

I guess as far as problems go, having to repaint something because you got better is a good one to have.

I'm not dead.

I'm just crazy, insanely, overwhelmingly swamped. I haven't even touched my tablet in over a week.  That kind of sucks because I have multiple projects due AND lessons to scratch up for my students.

I have begun to prioritize:

1) Portrait commission #1
2) Art lesson reference pages. You can find the completed ones here, as you probably noticed. When I'm finished with actually "teaching" with the stuff, I'm going to combine the pages into one book and post it for download on DA.
3) FE collab pieces that are due in September.
4) My manga.
5) Another quick comic or two.
6) SilentReaper's StupidFox contest. I want a StupidFox plushie :O
7) Portrait commission #2
8) The artwork that I actually WANT to work on :|

So as you can see, I am quite busy. And all that is NOT including work, my classes, and piano lessons. Fortunately, piano is taking a two week break so I can catch up a little.

As much as I like taking breaks over the weekend, though, I hate having the 5000+ messages I get when I log back on.

Before I took a break, I did do a bit of quick concept art for the manga... I guess I'll post it so I don't look entirely hopeless.

I'm still here! Change in Showcase, as well

I haven't made a post in awhile, but I haven't finished any projects lately. I took the weekend early this week and started on Friday to give myself a three day weekend. As you may recall, I take my weekends off quite seriously. I don't do anything brain related, and that includes art.

I mostly play the Sims. Yes, I love the Sims. It gives me insight into how God must feel when we do things that make no sense and ruin our own lives in ten seconds or less. Well... that and they just make me laugh.

Although, when my first chapter of my manga is finished, you can thank the Sims for knocking me out of my writer's block. While playing through as the characters of the story, the Sims' utter lack of common sense gave me some hysterical ideas. PS, I will include the manga in both traditional Japanese AND English reading formats for my less manga-experienced peeps.

So I guess technically you can call it research?

Christine is worried that her dress makes her butt look big.

Melody can't figure out why there's no ceiling in an underground room (walls down lol)

Ok, I'll stop nerding myself out.

Well, except for this: While Onemanga closed its scans for good, other manga hosting sites are still going strong. So if you want to keep reading your manga, check out mangastream.com and bleachexile.com -- we've still got them, at least for now.

Ok, now I'm done nerding.

I don't know when I'll get to work on my own stuff, though. I have several portrait commissions that I need to start on, which is cool. Also, my art classes start tomorrow. I need to get some material drafted up for the first class. I have to cover a lot in just one hour because I really want to get the technical stuff out of the way as quickly as possible so they can start playing with their own creativity. Art is 15% technique and 85% practice.

Which reminds me -- I'll be picking up my Showcase posts again next Saturday, but instead of using pro artists, I'm going to be posting my students' work. I will still post pro's work if I run across something that inspires me, but I really want to give my kids the affirmation of getting their work published. It'll be on my deviantART, as well, so you can't really miss it.

I'm also not going to the convention this year. Too much overhead needed and not enough time to get it all together AND get enough art done to make it worth it. So I'll try again next year! Plus, it would be cool to be able to sell my first self-published manga volume there as well. If I could do one chapter a month, that would be awesome.

I had the mother of all headaches on Saturday. I don't know why I'm telling you that :|

Maybe cause I'm out of stuff to say.

That's all, folks!

Nobody loves me

After talking to my printer and having a minor heart attack over the cost of going to the convention, I decided I needed to do something to bolster my available capital. So I offered art classes, starting next week, to the large homeschool group in the area.

Nobody has signed up so far. Which especially sucks because I am the ONLY person who offers art classes other than one lady who charges $120 per lesson. Maybe I should charge that much to seem more legit? XD

Course, I still have a week left before I wanted classes to start, so maybe if I put out another email, I'll get some students. If not, though, I'm not going to be able to afford the convention this year.

PS I don't care what Metal Magazine says, Tarja is metal queen, NOT Sharon den Adel. Sharon only won because Within Temptation spent the past week badgering their Facebook fans to vote for Sharon. Epica did the same for Simone Simmons, but she got third.

Tarja was 200 votes off winning and she never asked for votes. So there! *ignore*

Neither did Nightwish and poor Anette got stomped 0.o Of course, they're probably too busy fishing to remember the contest XD

Why is the type so big? I have no idea.

Demon Spider encounter #3

I thought that once we moved, I would be free of the wrath of Demon Spider and his minions. Apparently, I was mistaken.

So far they haven't managed to find my new house, but these arachnid ninjas are infiltrating other places I haunt.

Appropriate, considering the most recent location was my Tae Kwon Do do jang.

I have private lessons occasionally with the grandmaster to work on my kick technique because my rotating sidekicks are abysmally uncontrolled (I have no balance at all). Anyway, we had finished kicks and I was working on my basic forms while he took a call. The form I was working on calls for a step back at one point. Not even a second after I took that step back, a large black mass suddenly fell from the ceiling, just where I had been standing moments before. Now, the ceiling is black, so I just thought it was a piece of insulation or something. So I glanced down.

As you have doubtless figured out by now, it was not a piece of insulation. It was the effin' biggest non-tarantula spider I had ever seen in my life. One of those black shiny ones with the pointy butt and loooong weirdass front legs. Legspan and all, it was about the size of my fist.

To my credit, I didn't scream (I didn't want to freak out the grandmaster). I just ran like a maniac to the other side of the room and waited for him to come back, trying to build up my guts to kill it before he came back and saw me running from a spider when I was supposed to be training to fight.

Oh, the irony.

Sadly, I wasn't able to do it. Every time I would take a step toward it to squash it, it would start to move. It's their movement that freaks me out so bad - not necessarily the size (although that makes their movement more defined). It's the way their legs move, all one at a time with little creeping motions. So when he'd move, I'd panic and run away.

Eventually, Master Kim did get off the phone and came back. I pointed the failed ninja assassin out to him and he appropriately remarked "Oh, that is big." like it was nothing, then proceeded to beat it to death with a kick pad. Although it took several good shots.

Unfortunately, he left the carcass there for an instructor to get and I couldn't concentrate anymore with it there. He hates spiders *almost* as much as I do, apparently. So I left and went home to make myself a cup of hot chocolate (yes, in July) and work a little.

Now I'm terrified of my own do jang. I just pray they hire an exterminator before Friday.

Also, I learned that even the grandmaster can hate spiders. And that learning tae kwon do will not cure me of my arachnophobia.

Crazier than usual

Adesso is supposed to be rushing my new pen to me, but I haven't gotten so much as a nib. I'm so creatively backed up that my dreams are entering the Plain of Thought that even I don't like to explore. I guess Rollin has wandered over there with all his spare time. I do wish he wouldn't share his discoveries with me though... The Sixth Plain of my Mind is a little weird even for me.

Without my art to keep me busy, I was lost yesterday. I watched TV most of the afternoon -- something I normally abhor. I guess I could write or sketch or something, but Soren is focusing obstinately on my current, unfinished painting. He's obsessed with getting it done and naturally, as a result, so am I. I even tried framing out the background with my trackpad. It didn't go very well... I had horrible flashbacks to my old paintings.

Thank God something finally came along to keep me entertained. The suspense/thriller game Alan Wake was released two days ago and I've been playing that when my brother isn't home (he's playing it, too, and we don't want to spoil it for one another). It's not really scary, per say, but it's interesting enough to keep me occupied in my normal painting-scheduled time. It's like playing through one of the books I love to read. 

I caught a glimpse of myself in the reflection of the TV once, and I had a smile on that looked exactly like the one Sunako sports in this picture ----- >

Like I said, Sixth Plain has been prominent...

Anyway, I've at least been occupied. I just hopehopehopehopehopehopehopehope my pen gets here soon. I don't know how long that game is and I don't know how much longer I can survive Rollin's inspirations without going certifiably insane.

Don't field that.

Uh... I've been sucking at art lately, so here're a few stories!... and a preview of some art, I guess...

I have been a very disgruntled beginner the last few days. My artistic endeavors have been less than successful. Soren has been insufferable with gloating, since I had always blamed him for not being very good... Apparently, it IS me. It's very frustrating...

Anyway, here's some NON-art related stuff that I've been up to lately...

I was gonna write about this anyway since everyone loved my last Demon Spider encounter. That's right, another one. This never happens when anyone is home!

Actually, it happened twice that day, but the first one only gave me a slight shock before I squashed it it wasn't very big.

The absolute worst part of my day is when I have to walk from my car to the house. There's a large, spiderweb covered hole at the base of the tree in our front yard, and I'm almost positive it's a tarantula hole. We had some in the Houston area like that which were, indeed, tarantula holes... So I'm terrified of it and walk as far away from it as I can.

By the time I get to the doorway, I'm usually feeling pretty good. Yay! I made it without dying of a heart attack because something big and nasty and hairy jumped out at me! So it's a relief to get the key in the lock and run inside after checking the threshold for Demon Spiders because I'm still afraid.

I was actually LESS afraid this particular day, even of the hole, because there were at least six guys across the street working on the roof of our neighbor's house. I thought that if I got attacked and screamed, I'd have at least six guys come running over to solve the problem. Especially since I looked pretty good that day in a short-ish short for me is knee-length dress and heels... So I had no qualms about reaching for the door handle.

Idiot, I should have double checked. When I reached for the handle, a massive black spider with the super-long pincher type front legs and weird white spots on its abdomen came barreling out at my hand. I screamed like a lunatic and ran away.

As I ran in circles around and around the yard, I remembered the guys across the street. So I stopped running and screaming and marched back up to the door ok, sneaked and opened up the glass storm door, expecting one of those guys to be over at any minute. I looked all over the doorway for that stupid spider, but couldn't see it anywhere. Maybe when I screamed I scared it off?

Just to be sure, I kicked the wooden door. Out came that spider like a bolt of lightning, intent on eating my foot. I jumped back and watched as it zipped back under the door handle. There was no way I was getting in while that thing was still there. I kicked it again with the same results and cussed that spider like crazy. Where were the stupid guys?

They were sitting on the roof across the street, watching intently. Apparently, they had never seen someone flip out and start kicking doors and cussing for seemingly no reason before.

I could have asked them to come kill it, since they obviously could hear me, but I decided not to be a wimp and rely on stupid guys to kill a demon spider. I'd done it before, I could do it again. I knew that if I could just get inside, I could get the spider spray and take it that way.

I slowly put my keys in the lock and turned it until I heard the click. Then I stepped back and kicked the door handle as hard as I could and the door flew open. Demon Spider II slung off the doorway I said a few words but managed to stay on by a thin string of web. I took my chance and ran screaming and cussing past it into the house, did a 180, and slammed the door shut as hard as I could.

Unfortunately, in my plan, I didn't take into account the fact that it was hanging by a web. It went sailing through the air and landed just to the right of me, then scurried up the wall like a psycho.

I screamed and ran into the living room, hiding in the corner I had previously used as a spider fortress.

I couldn't remember where mom had put the spider killer, so I reached for my cell phone, only to find I had left it at work. We have no home phone. So I couldn't even call to ask where the killer was. This did not help morale.

Fortunately, after poking around for a bit, I realized my brother had accidentally left his phone at home, so I was able to call mom and ask her where the spider spray was.

I drowned that spider and a good deal of the entry hall in poison. Fifteen minutes later when I felt safe enough to venture out of the corner, I remembered I had left my keys in the door. So I opened it up and saw the stupid guys still watching the house.

Thus proving my theory that 85% of men are useless.

OK! Enough about the Demon Spider Saga... I had some other stuff I was gonna write about.

Rollin has been very active lately. My dreams have been very interesting. A few nights ago, I had a dream most would call it a nightmare, but it was fun for me that this city I lived in a fantasy one with towers and canals and stuff was being attacked by some kind of demon and everyone but me was either dying of a disease or too scared to do anything. Well, except my brother, who tried to help me until he was eaten by piranas. There were a lot of people there, too, which is odd since usually my dreams have only the knowledge that people are there instead of me actually seeing them... There were a bunch of my old college friends there, some from my old church, and the Soren from Fire Emblem (don't ask).

I had to go through this long process of studying to figure out what the demon's weakness was. To skip over all the details, I did eventually manage to defeat it... I'm just very surprised at Rollin. He's been pretty quiet for the past six months. I just wish he'd give me a dream about Caroline so I can get that story moving...

I had some other stuff I was gonna write about, but I forgot. I was actually gonna write this post a few days ago, but couldn't because my Photoshop 8 trial was up and I couldn't do the illustrations... I know they're not necessary, but they're so fun... Fortunately, my tablet came with a free copy of Photoshop 4, which works just as well, but with more workspace. Eight had almost no work room... <-- proper grammar.

So anyway, before my PS expired, I was working on some character concepts for my manga. I haven't decided whether or not to go with a traditional manga style, or a more stylized realism... I'm hoping some concept art will get that question answered. Here's a block of some of my main characters:

Since it's mostly to get facial structure set, I wasn't overly concerned about being entirely clean-lined. Somehow, it still wound up looking pretty good XD

I guess that's all for now.

A quick post

I'm going to make this abnormally quick because I am exhausted. I am way too young to be feeling this old. :|

I'm now open for commissions! I figured out prices and stuff. I doubt I'll get any for a long time, but having an idea of what to do when the time comes gives me something to look forward to.

I also finished a sketch AND a speedpaint, both impressive since I spent most of the morning trying to get my pot-less coffee maker to surrender a cup of coffee. I made an impressive mess, but I got my caffeine. I did learn that, apparently, when you barely tap a glass pot against porcelain, it gets a bullethole type... hole?  Also, with a styrofoam cup and a pen, you can make your coffee maker think it has a pot. Just be careful or you'll wind up with boiling coffee all over yourself, the floor, and the fliers you were supposed to be folding...

Uh... anyway, here they are.

Now I'm going to bed...

What I love about Sundays

Unless we're just too exhausted to even get out of bed, my mom and I go shopping every Sunday. Mostly we just window shop, but occasionally we're really out to find something, and today was one of those days.

We've both been in desperate need of a wardrobe makeover, mom because she lost weight and me because my style intensified since the last time we went update-shopping. However, money's really tight right now and we couldn't spend a lot. So I suggested we go to Savers. Savers is a massive, outlet-mall sized thrift store here in town that's actually fairly nice. I love it. You can get fair quality stuff for $2-$5 and they have lots of vintage stuff that I love XD

Even though I walked into the dressing room with a full handful of hangers dresses, skirts, tops, anything I could find I only actually left the store with a dress, two skirts, and four shirts. But that was that much more added to my poor empty wardrobe. Unfortunately, I found out the hard way that I'm an in-between size. Mediums are too small look like they're painted on my body >.< and larges are too large. So I had a hard time finding things that fit. I DID manage to get ahold of an ankle length purple silk skirt with sakura flowers on it for $3 though yay!

I also got a silver and black carved Victorian style candlestick. I'm very proud of it.

We went to a craft mall after that so I could buy the feather-thingy I've been wanting for a long time. It's impossible to explain the feather thingy, so I'll have to show it to you:

I'd been in there three times since I saw it originally, but I'd never sucked up my wallet and bought it. I just love that thing. It's totally unique.

But when I went to get it today, I couldn't find it! I started getting really depressed and having a fit about how I couldn't believe anyone besides me would even want that thing! The people I tried to describe it to said it was either scary or weird. So who would want it but me?

Then I saw it hidden in a corner and calmed down. Apparently, they had to hide it because it was scaring the customers.

OH! Also at the store, I found these two awesome "genie bottles." I got to wondering if muses were the same material as genies, because, if so, the bottles could be used to trap Soren and Rollin when they're being annoying. I was really excited about mental solitude, when I saw the price. Soren and Rollin laughed me out of the store. One day, I will confine them...

Um. Well I guess that's all. I got two awesome decorations and a lot of clothes today. Yay!

Sumimasen!

Taking a break from art and writing to give you an update on art and writing

I've been very busy lately. Not, you know, doing anything useful, but learning a lot and being creative. I've been in such a good mood lately that I even went outside and sat in the sunshine without my shawl le gasp! Apparently, Soren and Rollin aren't useless at all -- they were just trying to get me out of my routine and try something new. I love you guys *sniff*.

In fact, while I was driving home today I got to thinking about my encounter with Demon Spider no, I'm still not over it -- I had to jump the threshold today and all of a sudden Soren starts having a grade-A fit! I turned my music off and listened to him. Turns out, he had a really great idea for a short horror story. It's been ages since I wrote anything, but I came home and typed out the beginning. I'm in such a good mood that I'll even show it to you!

***

            As I drove, I surfed absent-mindedly through the stations on the radio, not really listening to each as I passed. My mind was too preoccupied with other thoughts.

            They were going to be throwing me a birthday party at the office, for sure. I really hoped they remembered I was thirty-five, not forty-one. I’d been thirty-five ever since I was thirty-five. Last year, some idiot had given me a cake with forty candles. A month later, I fired him for mislabeling a case file. Two good things had come from that – one, no one ever dared mislabel anything again and two, they started getting my age right.

            Hmm… I wondered if Mr. Cruz had decided to file the charges against his wife? That would be a press-garnering case… Great media for our firm…

            I was yanked from my thoughts by a sudden searing pain in my left wrist. Forgoing several different defensive driving experiences, I yelped and released the wheel, grasping my wrist with my other hand. A thin red line had become visible across the veins of my wrist, throbbing incessantly. I stared at it dumbfounded.

            “What…?” I mouthed, a chill creeping down my spine.

            There was no way. It couldn’t be… I should have another year left, shouldn’t I? Right? I started counting in my head. 1992… 1993…1994…

            A car honked and I remembered I was supposed to be driving. With a gasp, I threw my hands back on the wheel to steady my car.

            Then I froze.

            A huge, bloated tarantula was creeping up the steering wheel, twitching its inch-long fangs as though itching to sink them into my flesh.

            A large red skull was marked on its abdomen.

            I screamed bloody murder and backhanded it across the car, jerking the wheel in a panic to pull over and run like hell. However, in my terror I overcompensated and found myself tearing across the median into oncoming traffic, directly in the path of an oncoming eighteen wheeler.

            Right before the impact, I glanced at the tarantula in the passenger’s seat and heard a raspy voice seeming to come from the spider itself say:

            “Time’s up, Caroline.”

***

Sounds like the ending, but it's not XD. You'll just have to wait and see. I'll probably post it as I write. Soren and I are still working out the meat of the story and I'm hoping tonight Rollin will throw in his two cents... 

In my artistic endeavors, I've made a scientific breakthrough -- people really like my comics *giddy*. I had thought they weren't funny because my brother never laughs, but apparently other people out there really enjoy them. It's really given me a lot of encouragement, as well as a lot of ideas to play around with. I'm still sketching and painting, but my distaste for time-consuming detail makes comics the more attractive of my options. I have no patience. 

I did sketch/overlay paint an illustration of Scott and Ann from The Five Trials. It's not my best and the background sucks as always, but I'll post it here. I did it in just a few hours, so don't hold the lack of quality against me XD

I've found that if you tilt your head to the right, everything looks better. I have a bad habit of drawing with the page and my head tilted, so everything's more in proportion if you do so as well. It really DOES make a difference so weird.

Um... I guess that's all for today except it's Friday and I still don't have my Bleach and Naruto :(

Sumimasen!

I'm not a wimp, though this post may lead you to believe otherwise

I had no idea what to write about lately, then life provided me with a story. Funny how it works out that way.

I'm hardly scared of anything, and I say that truthfully. All the things normal people are scared of, like the dark, snakes, ghosts, etc., I'm either not afraid of or actually like. 

I have only one true, marrow chilling fear, and it's a doozy.

Spiders.

Any spider larger than a dime. 

I am a SEVERE arachnophobic. The bigger the spider, the worse I hyperventilate when coming into close contact with it. I can't help it. It's an irrational fear, but that doesn't make it any less real.

Well, I had a nasty surprise when I came home today from work.

I opened the front door and BAM! Huge, black, nasty, shiny, pinchered, demon spider waiting right there in the hallway floor. I jumped about a mile, clear over it in heels, I might add, so it wasn't pleasant. Screaming like a lunatic and feeling very much out of my mind, I tore into the living room and hid in the corner. I knew I had to kill it. I didn't want to spend the whole afternoon sharing a house alone with that thing. But I didn't know how I was gonna kill it. Usually, I just scream and someone else my brother comes and kills it, but today I was on my own.

I called my mom asking her if we had bugspray, which, of course, we didn't. "Just get the flyswatter and beat it." was her advice. Good advice, normally, but I couldn't get close enough to it to do so without freaking out. So I tried plan B: Throw every shoe in the house at it and hope I squash it. I was so nervous, though, that I never managed to hit it. In fact, it wasn't even scared of the shoes zooming over its head. So plan C went into effect: Get this big bag of change my brother has and throw THAT at it. I thought that had worked -- I nailed it on its nasty little head. I was just about to go over there when out it crawled from underneath the piles of pennies, dazed but not dead. I screamed and ran back into the corner.

By this point, I was seriously considering going through the back door and asking one of the neighbors to kill it for me. I was starting to seriously lose my head. Then I decided I would NOT be a wimp about it and I WOULD kill the thing if it killed me.

So I tried the flyswatter approach again I had been carrying it with me this whole time as self-defense. But I still couldn't get close enough to swat it without shaking. So I called my brother, asking him where his duct tape and large metal pole were. Of course, he had no idea, but he suggested I use the broom. Yay! I knew where that was! I got scotch tape and bound the swatter to the broom handle and faced off with demon spider, who was now making his way into my living room sanctuary. 

I beat him to a pulp with my extra-long swatter. Twelve times I pounded him. I know he was probably dead after the first three, but I wanted to make sure. Then I watched. He didn't move. 

Demon Spider: 10 

Me: 1

He may have won most of the battles, but I won the war.

Of course, now I'm jumpy as all getout and hiding in the living room desperately craving something chocolate. But I'm not getting back up just in case he brought minions....

The most epic April Fool's Day prank ever

... I totally got it pulled over on me, which, as I mentioned before, really ticks me off. I'm usually pretty good at sniffing a scam Mr. Kazemerik from Nigeria has never gotten a penny from me! so it was rough on me. You'd also think that since it WAS April Fool's Day, I'd be weary of pranksters. But I'm not.

In my defense, I'm a zombie until I've had three cups of coffee. I don't even know what day it is until around noon, usually I've forgotten my own birthday the last three years. So it stands to reason that I'm not at the peak of my scam-sniffing ability until about noon because I don't even realize it's AFD.

Anyway, on to the prank.

My dear, pastor's daughter, sweet, innocent friend Mandy, who has never done anything quite so evil as that in all the four-nearly-five years I've known her on purpose anyway *lolz* decided to pair with a friend of hers and create the ultimate scam over a period of a few weeks. He "proposed" to her to be his fiancee for AFD and she accepted. Over the few weeks leading up to AFD, she posted vague "happy" status messages on Facebook that he usually commented on or "liked" so I got used to seeing his name and used to being annoyed that I didn't know what was going on I'm super nosy about my best friends but could care less about anyone else.

So the night before AFD, they changed their profile pics to ones with one another and changed their statuses to "engaged." I would have smelled a prank, except upon investigating so nosy I saw some people had posted something about them dating for three months. That and my subconscious memory remembered all of her ambiguous posts and it was early. So I totally fell for it hook, line, and sinker.

However, instead of finding myself excited over her "engagement" I flew into a vicious rage because she hadn't told me anything. Is that petty? Yes. Is it selfish? Yes. But that didn't stop me. I said something sarcastic to her and she immediately sent me emails and FB messages and texts telling me it was a scam. I felt like a total dork XD

Everyone fell for it though, so it wasn't just me.

You have to understand, though, that I'm pretty sensitive about that because it's actually happened to me before. My old best friend never told me he had a girlfriend even though we would talk all the time. I started feeling abandoned when he slowly stopped talking to me all together, which I later found out by the infamous update of the FB relationship status that he had found a girlfriend. I was so angry. Not that he had a girlfriend, but that he didn't tell me. Even more so that he wouldn't talk to me anymore because he simply didn't need me anymore. I had been abandoned on the side of the road. Plain and simple.

So you can kind of see why I was so upset...

I wish I could say I have learned not to be so nosy, but I haven't. If I stick my nose in your business, it means I love you. So deal with it.

Sumimasen!

Lessons learned today

1) if you need to iron something very quickly but don't have time to bust out the iron and board, a hair straightener works like duct tape on a broken window-- not really a permanent solution, but it gets the job done.

2) Pandora.com only allows you 40 hours of free music a month. I feel cheated. Unlimited free radio my ass.

3) I have learned more out of school than I ever did in school -- I never would have had time to start learning Japanese and definitely not digital painting if I were bogged down with homework.

4) walking around the block can end in a minor sunburn if you're really pale and live in a desert.

5) ALWAYS double check before you swing a bat at the heads of supposed "burglers." They just might be your lawn maintenance guys.

Sumimasen!

The Art Bug

If there is a disease for suddenly becoming addicted to drawing and painting, I have it. I have never before in my life been "good" at it I use that term loosely because I'm still not "great" but with all the practicing I've been doing, I'm really feeling good about it.

So good, in fact, that I'm feeling up to attempting digital painting.

I have spent the last few days reading tutorial after tutorial on techniques and all... I can comprehend it and don't think I'll have too much trouble for a beginner except for one thing:

My version of photoshop was released in the Stone Age. I have no graphics tablet, no advanced brushes... nothing. My poor little determined heart sank when I realized what I was missing.

Fortunately, I think I've found a few ways to circumnavigate it. By examining the tutorials, I realized that the brushes I have could be modified to be *close* to the ones recommended and, by using layers, I can achieve some of the same effects. It'll take more work and patience, but I think I can pull it off. I hope...

Anyway, here's the train of study I took, from cartoon to professional, in case anyone else has been wanting to get started or has been just wanting some extra reference...

1) Mark Crilley's YouTube tutorials: Basic structure and a lot of great eye tutorials. I couldn't draw a hand to save my life until I watched a few of his vids.

2) Dianae's Digital Painting tutorial: Amazing skin, eye, and effects tutorial. I plan to use it in my painting. A lot.

3) Leah Keeler's basic coloring tutorial: A grab-bag of quick reference quips. (she is my favorite artist)

4) Leah Keeler's hair painting tutorial: a basic instruction for hair painting that is made doubly awesome by her using Byakuya as her test subject. *glomp*

5) Dianae's hair painting tutorial: more in-depth than Leah's, but definitely takes way more time. I think I'll use a combination of the two for mine.

Even if no one looks at these, I felt it was only right to mention them since they've been such a great help. Arigato!

Sumimasen!

Soren and Rollin don't get paid vacations

You might notice I have dropped the -san honorific from their names. I realized I know them too well and get so angry at them that I don't want to give them an honorific. They're horrible pains-in-the-ass. Now especially.

All day, every day, they're buzzing in my head; rather, Soren is since Rollin specializes in dreams and big-picture plots while Soren is dominant in spur-of-the-moment and story details. Anyway, they're always nagging me with ideas. Write this or this, they say. But, when I actually sit down with my fingers to the keys, they totally shut up. Or go into insane hangover mode and talk rubbish.

This has led me to, not just writers' block, but full-out writers' drought. I got nothin' goin' on up there when it counts. I want desperately to pen or type, as it were my characters' lives. It was just the other day that Soren helped me create a few finer details to add to Leiliya, one of my main characters and my favorite. The problem is, I haven't even reached the point in the book where Leiliya even exists. After 11 years, I'm only a few pages into chapter three on my 822nd re-write. I'm at a total impasse with myself. I just don't know what to do anymore. Drawing keeps me from suffering stifled-creativity disease (SCD) which would eventually kill me, but I've had to stop drawing now in order to catch up on some of my digital coloring. I really hate leaving my drawings unfinished. Would that it were the same for my writing.

Should I ever get Aoudin and Leiliya's story written, it would either fall into obscurity probably driving me to inevitable suicide or become the next LOTR. Of course, it will always stay in my head, so I really don't think it's an issue...

Bah... I'm going to bed now, so it's Rollin's turn to nag me incessantly. At least I'll sleep harder with my new blackout curtains

Sumimasen!