Dark sunny day

Today, the sun was shining, the breeze was blowing, and the birds were singing. It was a lovely, beautiful day for me to walk around with a black fog surrounding me, killing plants and making small children cry with my every step.

For today, despite all the radiance of the West Texas sky, I was surrounded by my own darkness.

I get this way when frustration and insignificance overwhelm me. When things I've tried to bury stick their bony hands out of their graves and grasp my ankles, trying to pull me under. I've been doing a fairly good job of keeping my smiling mask fastened to my face, but on days like this, it begins to slip.

I see what I want. What I desire. And I see how far away and impossible to obtain it is.

I walk around in life with a target taped to my back. Murphy's Law is my karma. A god that ruined me.

The idea of my dreams rather than my dreams themselves stab me in the chest with an icy knife and I fall into myself, already half dead.

It's all so far away, I can't even see it.

So today, I just felt like crawling under my bed and hiding in the dark for awhile. It's about the darkest place I can find.

Unfortunately, I don't fit anymore.

Hide me, darkness, dammit. But in a white room, where is a dark corner?

Now this icy, black fog is spreading to you. Run while you still can. I'll hide here now...